Power: 3 Most Toxic Psychological Mechanisms in Leadership

If it weren’t for my friends, I wouldn’t have even heard about this scandal with rapper P. Diddy. I didn’t even know this artist. But the most interesting thing here is how such a, to put it mildly, negative personality could continue their terrible activities for so LONG?

For those who are not aware: P. Diddy (real name Sean Combs) is a famous American rapper and producer, recently accused of serious crimes. He is charged with human trafficking for sexual exploitation, violence, harassment, and rape. According to the investigation, the rapper used his influence and money to organize wild parties where sex industry workers and random victims were exploited. Numerous lawsuits have been filed against him, and the incidents cover the period from 1995 to 2021(!!!!!!!!)

Money, of course, played its role in this story, but it’s FAR from everything. As a psychologist, I can’t help but think about the psychological mechanisms that allow such toxic leadership to thrive in the modern world.

Let’s look at the three most toxic psychological mechanisms that are often found in leaders with power and influence. And which I have never encountered in mass media.

Model 1: “I don’t accept that I’m bad, so others have to become worse”

This complex psychological mechanism can be considered one of the most toxic. It combines elements of moral compensation, projection, and social comparison, but has its unique features.

Main characteristics:

1. Non-acceptance of one’s own negative actions or traits.
2. Creating situations where others find themselves in similar circumstances.
3. The goal is to make others look “worse” to boost self-esteem.
4. Reducing internal conflict (cognitive dissonance) and maintaining a positive self-image.

Examples:

Examples:
Imagine a manager who recently made a serious mistake in a project. Instead of acknowledging his error, he deliberately gives a difficult task to an inexperienced employee, knowing that they are likely to fail. When the employee indeed makes a mistake, the manager publicly criticizes them, emphasizing how important it is to be competent in their work. Thus, he diverts attention from his own mistake and creates an illusion of his professional superiority.

A politician accused of corruption, instead of responding to accusations, initiates a large-scale investigation against his opponents. He uses his influence and resources to find even the smallest violations in the activities of other politicians. By doing this, he tries to create the impression that “everyone does it” and divert attention from his own misdeeds.

Toxicity of the mechanism:

Toxicity of the mechanism:
This mechanism is particularly destructive for the collective and the organization as a whole. It creates an atmosphere of constant tension and distrust, where everyone is afraid of becoming the next “victim”. People start spending more energy on protecting themselves from possible attacks than on productive work. This leads to a decrease in efficiency and creativity in the team.

Moreover, this approach hinders healthy professional development. Instead of learning from mistakes and improving, people start hiding their shortcomings and avoiding challenging tasks, fearing to become objects of manipulation. This creates a culture where honesty and openness become rare, and hypocrisy and double standards become the norm.

In the long term, this leads to a general decline in moral standards in the organization. People begin to consider such behavior acceptable and even necessary for survival in such an environment. This can lead to serious ethical problems and loss of reputation for the organization.

How not to succumb to such a mechanism:

1.Develop self-awareness and emotional intelligence:
Practice daily reflection. Set aside 10 minutes in the evening to analyze your actions and reactions.
Ask yourself: “Did I try to humiliate someone today to feel better?” or “What do I feel in this situation?”
Learn to understand your emotions. Review my video about emotional intelligence for a deeper understanding.
2.Set clear personal boundaries:
Train your assertiveness. Define boundaries that others have no right to violate. For example:
Your personal space and time
Your professional duties and responsibilities
Your personal belongings and information
Learn to confidently but politely defend these boundaries.
3.Document everything:
After important meetings, send all participants an email summarizing the discussed issues and decisions made.
Use the opportunity to record online and offline meetings (with participants’ permission) to create an accurate agenda and the ability to return to discussions later.
4.Seek support:
Find an “ally” in the team – a person you trust. Regularly exchange observations and support each other in difficult situations.
Create a support network of several reliable colleagues.
5.Focus on your work:
Set specific, measurable goals for each week. Use the SMART technique for goal setting.
Focus on achieving them, not on comparing yourself to others.
Regularly acknowledge your achievements, even small ones.
6.Be ready for confrontation:
Prepare a “script” for talking with a toxic colleague or manager. Practice this dialogue with a friend or in front of a mirror.
For example: “I’ve noticed that you often criticize my work in front of others. I’d like to discuss this privately and find a constructive solution. What are your expectations regarding my work?”
7.Develop a professional network:
Join professional groups on social networks, attend industry conferences and webinars.
Create a LinkedIn profile and update it regularly.
This will not only expand your opportunities but also give you perspective beyond your current job.
Remember, it’s better to leave toxic leaders when you have alternatives.
8.Practice self-defense:
Carefully study the company’s policy on ethical behavior and complaint procedures.
Know your rights as an employee according to labor law.
If necessary, consult with a lawyer specializing in labor law.
Always remain true to your ethical principles and values.
Regularly review your values and beliefs to ensure that your actions align with them.

Remember that your mental health and well-being are more important than any job.


Model 2: “I feel powerless and empty, so I get nourishment in the form of pleasure from the suffering of others”

This psychological mechanism is one of the most destructive and toxic in human relationships. It combines elements of sadism, compensatory behavior, and emotional vampirism.

Main characteristics:

1. Main characteristics:
   A deep sense of inner emptiness and powerlessness.
2. Active creation of situations where others suffer or experience discomfort.
3. Obtaining emotional satisfaction from observing the suffering of others.
4. Using power or influence to systematically humiliate subordinates.

Examples:

Imagine a manager who regularly arranges public “dressings-down” for his subordinates for the slightest mistakes. He doesn’t just criticize, but deliberately humiliates them, enjoying their embarrassment and fear. This manager may set unrealistic deadlines or give tasks that are knowingly impossible to complete, just to then accuse employees of incompetence.

Another example is a teacher who finds pleasure in humiliating students in front of the class. He may ridicule their mistakes, compare them to more successful classmates, or even reveal students’ personal information to cause them feelings of shame and helplessness.

Toxicity of the mechanism:

This mechanism is extremely destructive for all involved parties. For victims, it can lead to serious psychological trauma, lowered self-esteem, development of anxiety disorders and depression. In a work environment, it creates an atmosphere of constant fear and tension, which significantly reduces team productivity and creativity.

For the sadist himself, this mechanism is also destructive. Although he gets short-term satisfaction from the suffering of others, it doesn’t solve his deep-rooted problems with feelings of emptiness and powerlessness. Instead, it creates a vicious circle where the sadist needs more and more “victims” to get the same level of satisfaction.

In the long term, such a mechanism leads to the complete destruction of healthy interpersonal relationships, creation of a toxic work environment, and can have serious legal consequences for the organization.

How not to succumb to such a mechanism:

1. Maintain emotional distance:
   Don’t show the sadist your fear, pain, or confusion.
   Practice emotional self-control techniques such as deep breathing or visualizing a protective barrier.
2. Don’t become an “easy target”:
   Avoid situations where you might find yourself alone with a sadistic leader.
   Try to work in a team or with the presence of other colleagues.
3. Use the “gray rock” technique:
   Be as neutral and uninteresting to the sadist as possible.
   Respond briefly, without emotions, don’t give reasons for attack.
4. Create a support network:
   Find allies among colleagues who also suffer from such behavior.
   Support each other, but avoid public discussion of the leader.
5. Strengthen your self-esteem:
   Regularly remind yourself of your achievements and strengths.
   Don’t let the sadist undermine your self-confidence.
6. Set clear professional boundaries:
   Focus on your work responsibilities and don’t allow yourself to be drawn into personal conflicts or manipulations.
7. Document everything, but covertly:
   Keep a detailed diary of incidents, but keep it in a safe place inaccessible to the sadist.
8. Consider confidential reporting:
   If your organization has an anonymous hotline or ombudsman, use this resource to report the leader’s behavior.
   
   
9. Plan your exit:
   Start looking for new employment opportunities.
   Your mental health is more important than any position.
10. Seek professional help:
    Consultation with a psychologist will help you develop individual strategies for protection and preservation of mental health.

Your safety and well-being are priorities. Don’t try to “re-educate” a sadistic leader – it can be dangerous. Instead, focus on protecting yourself and finding ways to exit the toxic environment.

Model 3: “I’m so uncomfortable and scared that I’m afraid of losing control, so I have to manipulate and restrict others”

This psychological mechanism is a complex interweaving of fear, insecurity, and the need for control. It is often found in leaders who feel deep inner anxiety and uncertainty about their abilities.

Main characteristics:

1. A deep sense of fear and discomfort in the leadership position.
2. Constant need to control all aspects of subordinates’ work and life.
3. Use of manipulative tactics to maintain power and influence.
4. Creation of restrictions and rules that often have no real meaning other than ensuring control.

Examples:
Imagine a manager who requires his subordinates to report on every step in their work. He may establish overly strict rules regarding working hours, breaks, even personal conversations in the office. This leader may manipulate information, providing it partially or distortedly, to maintain his position as the only “knowledgeable” person in the team.

Another example is a father who, due to his own fears and insecurities, tries to control every aspect of his children’s lives. He may limit their communication with friends, impose his decisions about their education or career, using emotional blackmail or manipulation to achieve his goals. All supposedly “for their own good”.

This mechanism creates an atmosphere of constant tension and distrust. Subordinates or family members feel constantly under surveillance, which leads to decreased initiative, creativity, and overall satisfaction. In a work environment, this can lead to high staff turnover, reduced productivity, and innovation.

For the leader himself, this mechanism is also destructive. The constant need for control is emotionally and physically exhausting, leading to stress and burnout. Moreover, this leadership style often leads to the isolation of the leader, as people try to avoid interaction with him.

In the long term, this can lead to a complete loss of trust in the leader, the disintegration of the team or family, and serious psychological problems for all involved.

How not to succumb to such a mechanism:

1. Develop independence:
   Take responsibility for your decisions and actions without waiting for constant approval or instructions.
2. Establish healthy boundaries:
   Clearly define which aspects of your life or work are not subject to external control.
3. Practice transparent communication:
   Openly discuss problems and expectations, not allowing manipulations to remain hidden.
4. Expand your support network:
   Create relationships outside the immediate control of the manipulative leader.
5. Document interactions:
   Keep written records of important conversations and decisions to protect against possible information manipulations.
6. Develop emotional intelligence:
   Learn to recognize manipulative tactics and respond to them calmly and rationally.
7. Look for alternatives:
   Be prepared for the possibility of changing jobs or situations if the toxic environment becomes unbearable.
8. Practice anxiety reduction techniques:
   Meditation, deep breathing, or physical exercises can help cope with the stress of constant control.

Don’t let another person’s fears limit your potential and freedom of choice.


Friends, these are just a few, in my opinion, of the most popular models. Please take care of yourself and your mental health.